at that age

last night i was watching an episode of My Boys (on TBS) the show was about how people grow and change and become different people. one of the characters, Andy, said "oh, you're at that age. the age where people become who they really are. and suddenly the people that once were really important to you become not so important and other people are very important."

remember when you were little and you met someone new, within 5 minutes you were insta-best friends? but as we got older, it took us gradually longer and longer to become best friends with someone. in elementary school we were mostly friends with everyone. as we moved our way up to jr high, we wanted to fit in with the "cool kids" and sr high for the most part it was a matter of trying to fit in. wee graduated, moved on to college or our careers and set out to discover ourselves. throughout much of our young lives we became friends with people based on closeness - having classes together, playing on the same sports team, because we lived in the same neighborhood. in college, it was fairly easy to make friends. we found one commonality and built off of that, for many of us the commonality became drinking and general independence. but as we hit our mid-20's we settle into our independence, (for many) the luster of drinking wears off, we begin to establish ourselves in the world. We don't settle for friends based on convenience or location. We become more settled in who we are as people. And for some of us, that means significant changes. Being friends with EVERYONE isn't really that important...being friends with people who share your interests and have common morals, people who genuinely care about you, becomes very important. As we grow and learn about ourselves and work at making ourselves the successes we want to be (in life, love, relationships, and careers) we change. sometimes those changes point us in opposing directions from the people we once so devotedly called friends. it's not something that makes us good or bad, it's a changing of the guard, a part of life.
we all learn from our relationships - good and bad. we carry those lessons with us, they are part of what makes us who we are. i wouldn't be who i am today without the good and bad friends i've had in the past. but as i grow, i work towards having just good friendships.