July 23, 2008

50/50 or more like 75/25?

recently a friend and i were talking about dating and a difference of opinions arose. i can understand the argument for both sides, and i'm not saying that either is right or wrong, just different. so, i thought i'd poll my readers and see what you thought about the subject. i'd love to hear the responses from any male readers, as well.
opinion 1: when going out on dates, particularly at first, boys should pay.
opinion 2: dates should be 50/50 when paying. (not going dutch, but taking turns.)

what do you think? i'll reveal which stance i take in a comment later today.


Miz said...

I think you should always go on a date expecting to pay for yourself. If the tab is picked up for you, then make it a point to pick it up the next time you are out (if you are allowed by the other party). I'm excited to read your take on the matter!!

addy said...

I think it's really nice for guys to pick up the tab on the first date, but that it shouldn't be expected. And I also think that it should be pretty close to 50/50 for the most part - unless the guy insists on paying. Basically, I think it's rude for the woman to EXPECT to be paid for, but it's nice when it happens!

Tim said...

Honestly, I enjoy paying at first but it should be fair in the long run. So I'm of the 100/0 persuasion to start, with a slide to 50/50 as things progress. It's not because I have money to burn (I don't) or I feel obligated, I just like treating people (dates or otherwise) to something that happens to involve money. For example, if I'm meeting someone for a movie and I get there first, I'll buy the other person's ticket and won't expect them to do it next time. It's just what I do.

I definitely agree that expecting the other person will pay is bad at any stage. Once talking about money isn't awkward, talk about it because it can as much a source of unfulfilled expectations as anything else.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for your comments, you all make good points.

I reside in the camp of 50/50. As much as I appreciate when a date pays for me, I want to treat him as well. In some regards, it's a bit of feminism and wanting equality. In more ways, it's about an equal partnership and being able to take someone else out and treat them. I think that taking someone out is one of many ways, to show them you are invested and care about them.

willikat said...

dude, i definitely do not mind being spoiled or taken out. but i try to repay somehow: mix cds, going out to dessert (where I pay), a bottle of wine, some other thoughtful gesture. i dont' want to feel like a sponge. i also try to keep in mind people like tim: sometimes people just like to treat others, and it can be insulting to not let them.

willikat said...

also, if the date pays, it clears up any notion if you were confused as to whether it was a date-date. so sometimes it's a relationship indicator!